Almost Believable. PSYCH!

Photoshop is not reality, people. Just because you can drag something around on a Mac, "change the levels", "add layers" and "deep etch" them (whatever that means) doesn't make it real. If Photoshop was reality, I'd be paying child maintenance to Angelina Jolie right now, so believe me, I know. Sometimes, Photoshop can make things look real. Apparently not this time.

Are there no real clients in India that agencies there have to resort to scambient, scamailers, scam print and scamperiential all the time? It's one thing to hack up a bit of scam from way back in your throat if it's a brilliant concept that a real client would never buy, but to spend thirty (make that fifteen) seconds of your life cobbling together something like this is inexcusable. The best bit is the "Response" thing in the bottom right. That's real comedy!

I would love to say that this is at least a good ad for Photoshop, if nothing else. But I can't. "Innovative, factual and hard-hitting!" More like "Scam, scam and scam!".

Directly into the Scam bin

Whether this is an interesting exercise in brand positioning or the result of a strategist on hardcore intravenous drugs isn’t really the issue, but allegedly, the Hyderabad International Convention Center in India saw it fit to advertise their venue – not for high-powered business conferences, no friends, but rather as the number one choice as a wedding venue.

The inspired copy in this direct sca-mailer reads “It's the journey of a lifetime. Let it begin in top gear.” What pushes this piece of cutting edge thinking wasn’t this line alone, however. Lucky recipients also received a scaled model of a typical wedding car – apparently a “very important part of the celebrations”.

Given that direct mailers are probably THE most measurable marketing tool for those of us in the communications industry – yet these creatives have chosen to not show any of the results for this break-through piece of work. It does indeed make one wonder as to the legitimacy of this trash. Throw in to this mix non-existent strategic reasoning and cultural practices unknown to 90% of the world and it's blatantly obvious that these scammers are trying just a little bit too hard.

Wow… this one was just too easy.

Murky waters...

Here's something you won't hear from us Scam Hunters very often, but here are some ads that ACTUALLY might deliver on some true strategic objectives...

That is, provided that the original strategist was high on dope (or whatever it is they smoke in Bangladesh, where this scampaign originated). Are there, in fact, ANY brands in Bangladesh? Who knows, but interesting to see scammers hard at work anyway.

There's also the issue of the banal execution and the blatant rip-off of other, more famous brand's tagline which all point to signs of scam.

Let me tell you something Dear Bangladeshi Scammers.. the best way to get refreshed is to hunt down some scam. Luckily for you, you won't have to head too far to see some of that crap.

Not Scam

It may be shit, but at least it's real. And informative. Which is more than most can say. Hell, I didn't know the dinosaurs died because of safety belts. There I was believing all that meteorite nonsense. I am truly amazed...

A Shining Example of Nothing

One good way to cut through the clutter (God, I love advertising) at award shows is to do an ad for a product that doesn't often advertise. Coincidentally (or not), it's also a good way to spot scam. I have been alive for longer than I can remember, and I can say in all good conscience that my eyes have not had the pleasure of beholding an ad for shoe polish in the press, or anywhere else outside the Scamiverse.

What, pray tell, might have inspired Kiwi to suddenly spend money on a "legit" ad all of a sudden (not even a campaign)? Perhaps it was the stunning imagery and beautiful artistry of this piece of work (I mean that in the derogatory sense. Obviously)? Perhaps it was the brilliance of the cutting-edge thinking? Perhaps it was the unhealthy glow on the subject's jowls? Perhaps not.

There's a stink on my shoe, and it's not from my shoe polish. I think I just stepped on a steaming pile of Scam.

A Slice of Scam. With Extra Cheese

Is there a shortage of pimply sixteen-year-olds who need money to fund their underage drinking binges that I don't know about? Since when do pizza joints spend more than 5 cents on a dogeared photocopy taped to the store window to advertise for delivery guys? Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if these scamimals are pitching this drivel as a building wrap on the Empire State. You know the (actually "my") saying, "The bigger the lie, the easier it is to believe"? It's what I told George Bush when he popped round to clean my pool while he was wondering how to pull off Operation: Scam the World. He mixes a mean Mojito, by the way.

The contrived visual is the least of my concerns. I would believe this ad if it said: "Sod off, we've got more than enough drivers. So don't even ask." In it's current format, however, I'm not convinced. And when I'm not convinced, it means one thing. The Italians say, "il Scamino", I believe.

Pissing contest

"Bref Lemon WC Gel"

Correct me if I'm wrong - which, by the way, I'm not - but "WC Gel" refers to the hand soap available in public bathrooms for one to use after one has done his/her business right?

So what has this Turkish creative team been snorting in their bathrooms? The idea that the entire bathroom smells like a fresh lemon tree does work, but is this dude pissing in the basin, the source of the lemon-goodness? Or is this in fact a lemonade ad and the product differentiator is that the original tree from whence the lemonade originated was fertilised only with organic fertilisers?

A sure sign of scam, as we've learnt by now, is that the scammers seldom feel the need to ensure that there is zero confusion in the target audiences' minds on:

(a) what the product is, and

(b) what the product does.

Seeing that neither of these objectives were met, coupled with a visual that only serves to confuse the reader even more, I have no doubt that:

(a) This is indeed sub-par

(b) The creative team probably snorted something far more toxic than handsoap during conceptualisation, and

(c) They were hoping to get away with some dodgy Scam.

Scamnesty International

Oh, poor, poor NGOs. Oh, how your good works are violated on the altar of so-called "creativity". This powerful piece of communication is sure to get the Olympics taken from Beijing - the People's Republic must be shaking in its boots.

Not quite sure where an ad like this might appear (besides the Scam folder on my desktop), and I would wager the first sixteen inches of my John Thomas that the creatives behind this scam weren't sure either. Not that it matters. After all, it's easy to forget the suffering of millions after a couple of Martinis at a Cannes after-party.

Here's an equation you might want to write down and learn off by heart:

Tragedy+Anniversary+AI = Scam

The Grail! It Is Found!

This is it. If you're addicted to Scam, you had better not look at this, because you will OD and die in a pool of vomit on your office floor.

The only surer sign of Scam than a fictional or microscopic logo is an ad that doesn't have a logo at all. This beauty - this Perfect Scam - defies the impossible by being an ad. For nothing. It would seem that, while they dominate world markets, our friends from the Land of the Dragon are also trying to dominate advertising sites at all costs (including this one, it would seem). As a wise Scammer (me) once said of advertising and Chinese imports in general, "Quantity has a quality all of its own."

If you don't know what the hell this ad is about, take a number and get in line. Killing animals is profitable, we all know that. And if we didn't, we do now. In fact, I'm reaching for my 12-gauge and an M-16 carbine to go git me some beer money right now... On second thought, I'll take my Yen-shaped catapult instead.

The creators of this scam saw fit to include the explanation: "Yama is the Lord of Death". I admit, I didn't know that. What I do know is that I am the Lord of Scam and the souls of these creatives are mine!

Fight the right fight, against Scam

Kill guns.. what would we want to do that for? It'd far too inhumane to line the Scammers who sucked this shoddy piece of work out of the bottom of the Scam barrel and shoot them with a crossbow wouldn't it?

The completely mind-numbingly banal concept aside (Kill guns with what? another gun?), I thought I'd give these clever-asses out of the Middle East a chance and try and look up the organisation called RIFL. Ever heard of it? Nope. And neither has Google, it'd seem. The only search results (totalling 2 pages) returned were linked to this heinous piece of scam.

Really wanting to disprove myself on my initial fears, i typed in the url featured at the bottom of the "ad". The good news is that there IS indeed a website with RIFL's logo.. but ZERO contact details. I couldn't even donate money if I wanted to.... A real and legitimate organisation? I think not.

There you have it.. these scammers dreamt up a shitty concept, then tried to pass it off as the real deal by either craftily inventing a "client" or by finding such an obscure one that they wouldn't even need to show them the work. Scamtastic!

Now someone drag them out and shoot them like the scum they are...

This would leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth

After a short hiatus to keep our eye on the Scam pouring into the Loeries Awards this year, we're pleased to announce that we are turning our attention back to bring you examples from the dirty world of Scamvertising.

Below is our latest spotting:

What probably started out as a guerilla idea - which was hopefully turfed by the CD's, if they know any better - became forced into this awkward piece of print Scam. With such a shallow concept and poor re-touching, I'm surprised magazines would even consider running this piece of cheesy crap. What's more, if any client ever came across this execution, they would surely have fired at least the creative team who schemed this up - leaving the Scammers no choice but to flight it in Ads of The World - in their ridiculous attempt at convincing everyone that this was legit.

Maybe they should stop eating so much of this cheesy goodness and go back to brainstorming on some real campaigns.

The Numbers Never Lie

Right... When people make real ads, there is a process. That process generally (although not always) starts with a client asking for an ad or campaign to achieve a specific objective. When people make scam, there is also a process. That process generally starts with either one of the creative team sticking their fingers down their throat. What comes out quite regularly looks like what we have here.

Cryptic to the point of obscurity, questionable content and unachieved outcome. We have yet another unholy trinity of scam. 90-60-90-Bullshit.

Universal language of Scam

Being all-knowledgeable is a wonderful thing. It allows one to be condescending towards just about everyone else. It also allows one to spot Scam like there's no tomorrow.

The above exhibit piece of scambient work out of China for Head and Shoulders was allegedly placed on a golf driving range, more specifically on the mats where golfers hit their golf balls off.

One blatant inconsistency (apart from The Oracle's previous tip on Scam Hunting in the ambient duster) for this to be a real campaign is in the strapline itself. The printed "drive dandruff away" strapline probably wouldn't be understood by 80% of the Chinese population in its English form. What's more, had the line been translated into the official language of Mandarin Chinese, it would make as much sense as french-kissing one's sister.