Write this piece of Scam off

Someone should consider a Movement Against Scamvertising Day, maybe then we wouldn't see this kind of sub-par crap:

I know it hurts your fragile eyes to have to see Scam like this, but what I'm about to tell you will make you laugh SO hard that it'll kinda be worth the pain..

This piece of very weak metaphor and art direction was overseen by 3 Creative Directors, 3 Copywriters and a lone Art Director. Can you imagine? What the hell did each of them contribute? One letter per person??

This kinda Scam just goes to show that sometimes 7 heads isn't better than one.

Stick To Making Real Ads

Shameless. That's how I would describe this little bucket of fun. Perhaps the surest sign of a citizen of Scamia is a wholly inappropriate, over-thought, over-sophisticated execution to sell an entirely functional product. Do these scammers really think that I'm going to chose their tape over the next one because you can make pretty (make that pretty damn ugly) pictures with it, provided you're creative and jobless, with a year or two to waste?

There is no reason to go super-clever when you're selling masking tape, unless it illustrates how good the tape is. Personally, I'd go for the one that says "Sticks Like Shit To A Blanket", and I think most of you would too.

This isn't clever. It isn't art. It isn't good. Which means it can only be one other thing. And by now, I think we all know what that is...

The Devil is in the Detail. And the Kid.

Here we have a great example of a moment of inspiration that someone really should have kept to themselves.

What do you do with photos of your kid's birthday party that are all messed up by those pesky red eyes? Why make them into a campaign of course. The next course of action is to find a product that you can force your "idea" onto.... Hmmm... Tough one... But wait a second - there's cake in the photos already, which means less Photoshop, which means longer lunches. Genius!

But how do you create a link between cake and children who look like they've been playing too long with a ouiji board? Hmmm... It's got to be something with the red eyes... I've got it! I once saw a rabbit with red eyes, rabbits eat carrots, you get carrot cake (who cares if kids don't like it and the picture's got chocolate cake in it) and voila! I'm just going to make a little Lion-sized space on my desk here, and then we can hit that crack pipe and go on lunch. Sweet.

The power of three - and Scam

Veni, vidi, vici. Verb, subject, object. All the colours in the world are made up of 3 primary colours, red, yellow and blue. Each atom is made up of proton, neutron and electron. Even ABSA Capital, Barclays and you! Blah, blah, blah...


You get the point... the opportunities are endless when 3 elements come together.


Scam is no different. Have you ever wondered why so many print scampaigns come in three executions? Consider the 3 executions of the cute little kiddies with old people's hair as an example. Below is one of three print execution of the 2008 Corporate Roll (no idea what the hell that is, no doubt in my mind it's Scam).




Why, you might well be asking. Well I'll share the dirty little secret with you, my fellow Scam Haters. Many awards shows require at least 3 separate executions for the scampaign to be considered a legit campign.

As you know, Scammers would rather take the easiest route to success (hence the Scamming).

It's pretty evident that they'd rather Scam their way with fake advertising all the way to an Awards Show then work hard on proper Client briefs, with the Client's best interest at heart, which is obviously too much work... and seeing that the Awards only require 3 executions, the simplest route is to execute the same clever idea 3 times over.

There you have it, another Scam Hunting rule...

Hairy Scam

Beaners is a specialist children's haircutting joint. That's one hundred percent true. They also have a total of 15, yes you read correctly folks, that's 15 branches throughout the WHOLE of Canada. Whilst we're not knocking this establishment by any means, we do question the alleged advertising campaign for the niche hair designers.

Have a look below, if you can get past the super-crap photoshopping..

Here, the Scammers have again followed a formula to what they no doubt thought would be their ticket to Scam-rockstardom, which makes it SO easy for us seasoned Scam Hunters.

Simple portrait shots with a somewhat clever headline - done.

A retro look and feel to the executions - done.

But the ultimate stroke of genius for these wet-behind-their-ears Scammers- and a dead giveaway that this is Scamvertising in its most comfortable and natural habitat - is the aging of kids.

The rationale goes as follows:

"kids are NOT old"

"if we apply photoshop magic, we can MAKE them LOOK old"

"wow.. that'd mean that they'd look like kids, but DIFFERENT"

"GENIUS! Lets quickly do it up and then go for lunch!"

While it's so true that kids shouldn't have adult hair, Scammers everywhere shouldn't have children's intellect either.

Consider yourselves Scam Hunted.

Exploitation Has Never Been This Hot

I hate to be the one to trash another do-gooder's attempt to snatch a few advertising awards, but again, I find myself compelled to seek some real justice in this flawed world of ours.

Here we have another unashamed exploitation of the logo of an unwitting NGO, this time Amnesty International. For once, scammers have decided to forgo the traditional George Bush and Fascist Amerika tripe in favour of a rather novel look at slavery and human trafficking. Gone are the shackles, starvation, exploitation and humiliation (yo), replaced instead by some of the nicest legs in the scamiverse.

A quick glance at these beautifully toned, four-foot beauties would suggest that "Stop Slavery" is the latest fragrance on the shelf of a cosmetics outlet near you. And that fine gold chain looks about as threatening as a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs wielded by three ladies in slighty-too-small lingerie. Not quite the stuff that the real AI would choose to help them in their struggle against global injustice, methinks...

Wham! Bam! Thank you scam!

Post-mortem on some good Scam

Every once in a while, a piece of Scam comes along that manages to convince a lot of people out there that it's legit, due to the seemingly sheer mass of the campaign and the associations with a credible brand by the Scammer.



Even Cherryflava and the folks at Creative Intelligence (a site which has remarkably little examples of Scamvertising) were duped by the Swedish student Scammer who claimed that he had created the largest drawing in the world with the use of GPS technology and couriers DHL.

Had they consulted us prior to posting, we would've pointed them in the right direction though. By simply glancing at the map/canvas on which the portrait was created, us expert Scam Hunters noticed the amazing and perfectly smooth lines and curves. This would have been impossible to create in real life using human transportation as there are rules and regulations guiding flight patterns of aircrafts.

There was also the question of points on the map in the middle of no-where... probably accessible only by a fishing trawler. I'm sure there can't be too many of those in DHL's fleet?

The question of fees for the project also arose in the Scam Hunters Bureau Head Quarters. Was this Swedish Scam-scum seriously rich was DHL really kind, and bored...?

There were already too many questions by this stage, leaving us no option but to stamp this piece of trash with a big "SCAM", in red.

This one crashed and burnt

You've gotta be kidding me... Barbeques Galore? More like Scam Galore. Have a look at this beaut hailing from Down Under.

It's a well known fact to anyone who's ever seen a dog that these critters would eat just about anything... even faeces. So a visual showing a pack of dogs from your neighbourhood begging for your food on the grill isn't really based on such a piercing insight is it?

I thought scam was supposed to have a huge dose of cleverness to it, but clearly not to the Aussies. They may beat us at everything, but our Scam is streets ahead of theirs! If only one could be awarded national colours for Ad-Scamming, we wouldn't have such an inferiority complex against the ex-convicts, would we?

But I digress... a "brand ad", in print form, for a brand that needs way more than a single print execution to make an impact screams SCAM.

Another piece of Scam to piss on

Some dude over at Trendhunter noted that several ad agencies "have recently been actively tapping into the unusual medium of public bathrooms to catch people off-guard and leave strong impressions of their brands".


Here's yet another example, allegedly of a brand leaving such a "strong impression"...

So many questions, all of which can be answered in one sentence:

1 - Who was the poor bastard who had to stick these decals in the urinals?

2- Which retarded brand manager would want his brand of golden deliciousness equated to piss?

3 - Why do we only see an exmple of one single urinal being branded in this "awesome" ambient (read: scambient) execution?

4 - Do you know guys don't look down when they pee in the urinal? Eyes straight ahead my dear Brazilian Scammers..

Clearly another piece of piss-poor Scam.

It's Like Banging Your Head On A Concrete Wall

It says "outdoor" in the creative rationale (read justification for wasting time on pointless drivel), but they only wrote that because they know it's tougher for us to make a cool word like "scambient" with "outdoor".

If this isn't a perfect example of a creative wank, I don't know what is. Please explain to me how putting an massive decal on the wall of a basement (high-five to Photoshop for that one) illustrates "speed and potency". Easy parking, maybe. But to my mind, there's nothing slower or less potent than a 3 foot thick piece of concrete. "Hard to overtake"?! It's hard to overtake a friggin' 18-wheeler truck in a rain storm, it's hard to overtake an old lady driving a 1963 Datsun on her way home from an all-nighter. It's sure as shit hard to overtake a decal pasted on a concrete wall, especially when you're trying to park and overtaking is the last thing on your mind... Maybe second last, right after that dream you had about Hillary Clinton gyrating sensually in nothing but her underwear.

It's also hard to believe this stuff is legitimate advertising.

Wild Bears Are Saving The World

It would appear that the best way to support a good cause is to promote it with a crap ad. In this case, I mean that quite literally.

Perhaps a Masters Degree (cum laude) from the University of Life has made me cynical, but in this case, i think that I am entirely justified in labeling this "thing" scam of the worst possible kind. A quick glance at the above illustration leads me to believe that dropping the kids off in the woods instead of the pool is a great way to help the environment. The body copy may challenge this perception. But who the hell cares?

Remember now, that this ad comes from China - a country with a population in excess of 1 321 851 888 people. If each one of those people were to take this ad to heart and do their bit to save the planet, they would be buried under twelve feet of excrement in five days (go ahead, do the math - I dare you).

Simply put, Greenpeace haven't come within 12 000 miles of this concept. As my esteemed colleague said to me earlier, those damned hippies need to put down the reefer for a moment and take some responsibility for their logo. Scam like this just rubbishes the message in their real ads... if there is even such a thing as a real Greenpeace ad.

Looking at this Scam gives me a headache

Asprin = Headache tablets = Medical supplies.

I know I'm stealing some of The Oracle's thunder here but you'll note that there's clearly no medical disclaimers anywhere in sight of this wonderful Scam campaign. Do they not require any medical disclaimers in the land of pyramids, because they sure are pre-requisites in the rest of the world, or was this just another creative team executing an overdone idea in hopes of a couple of medals?

Either way a piss-poor effort, but a wonderful example of first-class passengers on the Scam Train.

What's In A Name?

Hey! All you scam artists out there! Please understand that using non-existent brands in the execution of your tripe may alert The Authorities (us) to your wicked undertakings.

In this beauty out of Espana, the enterprising art director has rather cleverly cobbled together a fake logo in Photoshop, leaving his evil copywriter sidekick to come up with an even faker name. "Bloom" insecticide? Since when is a highly toxic killing device called "Bloom"? This isn't air freshener, my Continental friends.

Hmmm... Reminds me of that other insecticide spray, what's it called again...? Spoon. Croon. Moon.... Oh, I remember now: "Doom". In fact, from a distance, if you were blind, you might even think that "Bloom" was "Doom".

But that's what we're here for, isn't it? Doom. Bloom. Ka-Boom! Now get this out of my face.

Pointing at the Scammers

Ok.. at what age do kids stop playing with Matchbox toy cars exactly? In my day... I'd say kids were way too embarassed to be seen playing with toys like that at about 9 at the very oldest. These days, I'm sure they're smoking and drinking by that age.

Which brings me to my point.. print ads for Matchbox toy cars featuring charaters from an 80's show in Starsky and Hutch would surely be unknown to today's kids (the ones young enough to own Matchbox cars). Added to this, the execution would fly straight over these kids heads anyway.. I mean come on, two of your digits as the driver and sidekick for your toy?

Say it with me..... SCAM.

Greenpeace? Scampiece.

Five words (I'm sure you can fill in the rest). Flag, Greenpeace, Global Warming, Scam

Adolf Hitler: Scam Weekly's Favourite Cover Girl

It appears that The Prophet beat me to this one, but I guess that's part of what being a prophet is all about.

As he mentioned, one of the key indicators of scam is the use of the scum of the earth in ads that try too hard to be shocking. Here we have a novel use of Adolf Hitler, making his debut in a wine ad (his mustachioed visage being mainly reserved for smoking ads and George Bush comparisons).

"Mmm, honey. You should have a sip of this fruity red. It says here on the bottle that Adolf Hitler used to enjoy a glass or two of this varietal after a long day of orchestrating the extermination of millions of vulnerable minorities across Easter Europe. Wow-wee! You sure do learn something new every day. Cheers!"

Other ads in this campaign include an image of Little Boy vaporizing downtown Hiroshima. You can always tell great wine by its great taste. Put this tasteless nonsense on the Scam Tram.

Yet another Golden Rule for Scam-spotting

"Cigarettes kill more"

*sigh*

Smokers are such easy targets aren't they? Here's another example of scam which combines a couple of tell-tale signs of scam. One can clearly discern some of these signs at first glance, which we've discussed previously. Examples such as targeting people with highly anti-social & unfashionable habits, questionable strategic objectives (if any - apart from winning awards) and the factor of unknown clients (with tiny logos) all point to scam.

Here's the other golden rule for Scam-Spotting - Have someone whose face is only loved by their mothers as the face of your piece of "advertising". Genius!

True scamvertisers know that nothing evokes more emotion than a publicly hated figure. As Hitler lost the war, he always seems to be the number-one face for these "clever" print campaigns. Other usual suspects include Bush, Osama, Bob Mugabe, Chairman Mao, and just about any other dictatorial figure condemned by the West (the land upon which commercialism and advertising strives).

Having pointed out some of these true signs of Scam, I must say that the logic behind the message is also questionable, even to The Prophet himself.

Considering that way way way back in 1492, Columbus received tobacco products as gifts and promptly threw it away, it's pretty clear that the tobacco reign has lasted way longer than the combined lifetimes of uncle Adolf and brother Osama. Obviously more people have been in contact with tobacco than those subject to the terror of dictators.. so logically tobacco has killed more people.

Seems pretty obvious to me... are these Scammers alluding to some other magical message which seems to elude my understanding? I think not. I think the message is THAT straight-forward and lacking in logic... or brain-power during conceptualising. A few golden rules for Scam were followed in the hopes of recognition from their advertising peers me thinks.

What's That Weird Smell?

So first the Italians develop a new "candid camera" television show that would appear to showcase (allegedly) unwitting couples doing the horizontal mambo. If that's not sordid and degrading enough, they proceed to scam-vertise said "reality" show in this most horrific manner.

Kids, if you're hunting scam, the first place to look is in the ambient section of you local dumpster. Public toilets (especially urinals), escalators, articulated buses and any type of sliding door are the preferred habitat of scambient pieces.

Great idea guys. If paying a television station to voyeuristically ogle strangers exploring each others tender bits didn't make you feel like a bit of a siffo, having this lovely lady dispensing gel soap on you in a public toilet is bound to do the trick. So it's a double whammy: crap and scam.

The Scam search-light shines brightly on this beauty

Here's a bright idea... find of group of people who are hated by just about everyone and do a proactive piece of advertising to show just how filthy they are. The challenge arises in finding that much hated demographic... smokers are completely overdone, as scammers everywhere have already given them way too much credit. Hmm.. what to do?

Some out of the box thinking led this creative team from South America to pedophiles! What break-through thinking. Everyone will love it!




Let's treat these "posters" with glow in the dark paint (which you can totally see anyway under normal lighting) to show pedophiles in action when you turn the light off. Apply some of our photoshop wizadry so that we can show the idea to an organisation who might remotely give a damn.

Finally pass it off as "advertising" as you only need to flight a poster in your bedroom for it to count as having flighted and then enter it into every single awards show in sight. Fool proof plan all the way to Clio's really...

Let Your Parents Crap in the House

Imagine the brainstorming behind this one.
CW: "My portfolio's looking a bit lame at the moment - I need some good scam to pep it up a bit"
AD: "No kidding, me too! If we do something completely pointless and contrived, no-one will ever suspect it's scam. I did it last year with this anti-smoking ad that showed small children being burned alive by their ignorant parents. But here's the thing, if you squinted just right, you could see the Camel logo in the smoke.
CW: "That's frikkin' genius, dude. Insane!"
AD: "Sweet. Won't you go online and see if you can get two tickets to Cannes? I'm just popping outside for a smoke."

Don't make your parents jealous of your Maltese poodle? Treat your parents like your dog and they'll feel loved? I must say, it's a sentiment that certainly tugs at my heart strings. In fact, I'm going to visit my old man right now, bring a him tin of processed meat and a bone, and see if he wants to go walkies this afternoon.

In any case, it looks like the senile old bat is enjoying her haircut to me.

Let smokers be and go and make some proper ads

So much scam out there and so little time.. have a look at the below "campaign", hailing all the way from mighty Pakistan...


Print ad executions for a health-orientated cause - especially for a habit such as smoking which is considered as vile (by those who want to appear politically correct) as armed-robbery - always alerts us sharp Scam Hunters to possible impropriety.

Add to this, the "Client" appears to be an organisation called "SB".. the logo just about invisible and contact details completely omitted , all conveniently coming together for World No Tobacco Day... I'd say the Scam alarm is ringing just about as loudly as an air-raid siren.

Although.. having said that, the message conveyed by these two executions are so banal and the manner in which it was conveyed was not remotely clever (or effective, or pretty), that it MIGHT just be for real... or not.

Let the Slating Begin

Ah. The inaugural post. Quite a momentous occasion and quite possibly the spark that ignites a worldwide inferno of scam hunting.

Exhibit A is allegedly an Indian campaign, that was allegedly developed for a yoga centre... Allegedly. Here at Scam Hunters, we know better. Obviously.

First sign of scam: Breaking of local traffic by-laws... Check
Second sign of scam: Elusive strategic objective... Check
Third sign of scam: You just know that shit is fake... Check


Three strikes and you're out. The Scam Express is leaving Platform 5. And this thing is gonna be on it, baby!